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"They were careless people, Tom and Daisy. They
smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back to their money or
their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let
other people clean up the mess they made." --F. Scott
Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
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Do-re-me-fa-so-la-ti-dohhhh! Mee, mee, mee...muah, muah, muah...
Oh! Excuse me!
Hello! I'm just warming up to preach to the choir. Are you
with me now? All you who are as "blue" as I am? Good! What have
you gone through since November 3rd at 2pm Eastern/11am Pacific? Did any of
you come down with stress-related colds, flu, bronchitis, sinusitis? Any of
you up the prescription for Xanax or make the owner of your neighborhood
liquor store a lot richer? Did you send in a picture or make a donation here? Did you laugh wildly and
maliciously at this?
Did you sigh with relief when you saw the map that had you living in The
United States of Canada...Or, did that same map make you determined to move
out of Jesusland? Maybe you seriously thought about leaving altogether?
Or "marrying up"?
Well, cheer up my friends! I have a plan! It's
called A CALL TO ARTS! (yes, "arts"...not arms...since I hate
guns...)
"What is A CALL TO ARTS?" you ask. It's
an AIR WAR. What we need to do now is fill the theatres, libraries, tvs,
radios, bookstores, museums, galleries, discos, ETC. with comedy, drama,
documentary, painting, dance, photography, sculpture, and literature
dissecting The Man. (You know who I'm talking about.) Haven't we all
"lost" friends, and sometimes even family members, to the likes
of Rush, Bill, Ann & "Dr." Laura who spew their bile into
good rural homes? These "entertainers" are able to make otherwise
thoughtful Americans into intolerant, hating zombies simply because there
is nothing else to listen to in Dome Fouck, Nebraska. (Yes, like Des Plaines,
Los Feliz, and Leichester, it's pronounced differently than it's spelled.)
We must provide an alternative to this regressive rhetoric! "But, it
sounds like 'hard work'," you moan. (G.W., how did you get in here?!)
Well, fear not, my fellow brie-eating buddies! You don't even have to use
the right (I mean LEFT...) side of your brain...The material is at our
doorstep, daily. Every day there is at the very least a malapropism...at
the most, dead soldiers/dead civilians...or if you want to keep the focus
in-bounds...a Senate ethics scandal!
Think of the blast we'll have producing these
spoofs, weighty dramas, exposés, and the like...And, the culture will only
be richer for it! History shows us that when governments try to crack down
on citizens and break their own rules of order that the arts FLOURISH!
Where would rock n'roll be without Nixon? Would there be any of the great
Spanish and Latin American novelists without Franco, Pinochet, etc...? And,
don't get me started on what Mussolini did for Italian cinema. (Were you
tickled by Roberto Benigni's Oscar acceptance speech? Could not have
happened without Il Duce, amici miei! ;-))
"But what if I'm not an artist? How can I
help?" some of you are wondering.
Well...just keep being you...and flaunt it (nicely)
to your Republican neighbor, parent, cousin, and/or postmistress,
etc....What I mean is this: Introduce your racist parent to a really
wonderful Black/White/Hispanic/Native American/Asian/Eskimo/Jew (take your
pick and/or add one...) friend of yours. Take a homophobic date to your gay
best friend's "private commitment ceremony" (we all know it's a
WEDDING, but...shhhh...). You see what I'm getting at? Step up to their
line in the sand, and cross it, with truth, smiles and diplomacy! If you
can get them to like "just one", it's harder for them to hate the
whole group.
"But, I could get lynched for doing any of
these things! You don't understand how deep down in Right-Eous-Ville I
live!" you cry.
Well, then, I offer this simple solution. Try
monosyllabic words like "jobs", "farm",
"kids" when you talk to the neighbors about your view for a
better world. (And, when you get down, just play Sting's "...the
Russians love their children, too..." over and over and over again.
You are free to substitute another r-word for Russian, if it makes you feel
better.) Animator Mark Fiore has a really good instructional
video covering this very topic.
I've gotten through my post-election funk with a
little help from The Clips...who almost beat the Detroit Pistons in double
OT...among other glorious real victories (like beating the Indiana Pacers
by THIRTY-TWO points!!!). I even extended an olive branch to "the
other side" when I consented to doing a sketch on CNBC's "The
Dennis Miller Show". Bruce and I were
interviewed by "reporter"
(comedienne) Maria Bamford about
how our
heckling might be "hurting the feelings" of the Raptor
players. It was really hard to boo Canadians, but all's fair in love and basketball.
Our thanks to our dear friend, producer Jake
Wachtel, for letting us infiltrate "red" TV. (The AIR WAR has begun! ;-))
(And...this was days before the heinous brawl between the Pistons and the
Pacers in Detroit! Maria Bamford, are you a comic-psychic?)
It was also really uplifting to be invited by our
designer neighbor Kirk to a party for Todd Oldham/LaZBoy at the fabulous Esquire House in Beverly Hills. Every room (and even the pool , the garden, and the outdoor shower) have been
designed by prominent LA or NY designers. This room ("The
Library") was by far my
favorite. (That glowing hearth is a 17x 4 foot piece of onyx from
Pakistan!)
We also had fun celebrating composer Gregory Johnson's birthday at Luna Park with
his girlfriend, SFX producer Diana Giorgiutti. Finally, Greg is old enough
to drink while voting! (Well, he has been for awhile...Just had to rib you,
Greg! ;-))
More partying launched Thanksgiving week when
editor Frank Walters and
partner Lara Harris invited us to the 9th Annual Cavaliers' Ball at Fais-do-do. The entertainment,
featuring Eddie Baytos
and the Nervis Bros., the Mighty Echoes (with a FAB rendition
of "Duke of Earl") and Tony Matthews (who used to play with Ray
Charles) , was outstanding! We
danced to blues, funk, Zydeco and rock until very late. Unfortunately,
a somewhat early call had us out the door before Dennis Jones got on stage, but
we enjoyed dancing next to him all evening. (Other L.A. celeb names among
the revellers were M.C. Gainey and Edie
McClurg.) As I looked around the Fais-do-do dance floor, I couldn't help
but notice that almost every segment of humanity was represented.
(Okay...there were no women in burkas, but there were a couple beautiful
trannies.) A second glance at the invitation back at home reminded me of
the club's motto: "Cavalier in all...cruel towards few."
(Definitely A CALL TO ARTS people! I should have brought flyers!)
And, finally, in the spirit of the Global Test, I
had a Frenchman shoot my new
headshots at a beach with a Spanish name, El Matador! (Mon dieu! Dios Mio!)
I like to call them my Freedom Fotos. You can have a look at them here. My make-up was extremely
well-applied by Melanie
Randolph. (She has an awesome website,
too.)
Oh, wait! Before I sign off...Speaking of awesome
websites: After 5 years, Bruce finally has more than just a splash page. Check it out!
FADE TO DECEMBER...
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